I enrolled my oldest child in Kindergarten today and was overwhelmed with all of the emotions you might expect, but it also made me reflect on my first school memories.
I started kindergarten in 1981. My mom stayed at home with us and you didn't go to preschool back then unless both of your parents worked so this was my 1st school experience. I remember my teacher as the kindest, warmest, most soft spoken person I had ever met. I would have done absolutely anything for this woman and I was not alone. Being in her class was an honor for sure. I don't remember her raising her voice and time out wasn't even heard of yet. Just pure unadulterated gentle guidance with patience and realistic expectations for our age. It was the best introduction to school I could've asked for and I loved going!
A few years ago my kindergarten teacher found me on Facebook! I was so excited to reconnect with this woman I considered a role model & gentle guidance mentor. If you're friends with me on Facebook or follow my page (Attached Parents at Work) you know I am pretty vocal about the dangers of spanking and providing alternatives for parents. Sadly, my role model was vocal as well, only we did not see eye to eye. Not even a little bit. She was, in fact, the most unlikely advocate for corporal punishment I've ever met in my life and it crushed me. We went 10 rounds every.single.time. I posted some fact or resource about spanking to Facebook and every time we did I left feeling bewildered, confused and saddened by the exchange.
Our Facebook relationship ended in 2012, but not before I had tried in vain many times to convey to her just how deeply she reached us WITHOUT using pain or fear. She had our respect and love by showing us respect and love (she really did, lots of hugs in her class!).
Spanking is so unnecessary and ineffective. The ONLY things it will accomplish is 1) providing a target to take your anger out on and 2) short term results fueled by fear. But at what cost? We know spanking causes lower self esteem, more aggressive children and lower IQ's. It doesn't teach problem solving skills, conflict resolution or critical thinking. In fact, it impedes them.
Violence begets violence. Respect begets respect. Find out more at StopSpanking.org and www.Facebook.com/AttachedParentsatWork
